Hey Friends,

Our 2nd day with Collins went great. We were finally able to get her out of her orphanage clothes and shoes, give her a bath and put on some of her new clothes. She went swimming at the pool, and even finally got the courage to let her Dad hold her and take her out to the middle. She is the most active child I think I have ever been around! She tackles everything with exuberance. She is not afraid of anything whatsoever. She bounces and giggles and skips and bucks and runs every waking moment! She is very happy and grins all the time.

On Day 3 we went to visit her orphanage. We were given the option and wanted to do it as it would be so good to see where Collins came from, as long as it wouldn't be difficult for her. Our guide thought it would be fine if we went as long as she was doing good, which she was. Grace talked to her 2 times about what we were doing, that she would be going back with her mom and dad to tell her friends goodbye. But then that she would leave with Mommy and Daddy. She agree, and off we went. It was a 2 hour drive from Guangzhou. Because it's in a province that is doing well economically, the orphanage was a really good one as far as orphanages go. It was a government run one that combined a nursing home with an orphanage holding about 130 children, mostly special needs. Our guide told us that very few children in this orphanage are adopted internationally. They had a playground, school room and dining hall. We saw the bed where Collins slept. It was in a room with about 12 cots. No mattresses, just a straw mat on top of the springs. There was nothing in the room other than cots, and a television on the wall. The classroom had a few desks and that was it. The babies had just woken up from their naps. We walked up to the 3rd level and there they were. 16 babies lined up on the sidewalk leaning up against the railing getting a chance to be outside. None of them made a sound. Dead silence. I leaned down to one of them and waved and said hi. He burst into tears as if he was realizing what he didn't have--a mom. He turned his face to the concrete, and kept crying the entire time we were there, face to the wall. The older kids followed us around the whole time we were there. One caught our eye and we asked about her. She is 12, and has been on the list to be adopted for 2 years but no one has come forward. If she is not adopted by age 14, then she won't be eligible. Her special need is that she has Hep B. I wondered what she thought about seeing Collins with her parents and yet knowing no one had picked her. As it got time for us to leave, we could tell Collins was getting nervous. She was playing with her friends. This was the only family she had ever known and she was about to leave them forever...for the second time. She stood in a corner and refused to leave and then came the tears. Carl had to pick her up and carry her. That was a really long walk to the van with her kicking and screaming and sobbing. We tried everything to calm her down to no avail. But about 20 minutes down the road, she finally quit crying and began eating peanut butter crackers. In a little bit she started making funny faces at me. She is such a comedian, and I suppose that was her way of making up with us. Eventually, she took her seat belt off and climbed in my lap and kissed me 4-5 times on the face. This was the first time she had shown such affection! She is an amazing little girl. She's had to be a survivor, and seems to make the choice for herself to be happy. The rest of the day she was back to being the smiling, giggly, energetic child she was on Day 2. I wrote her name "Collins Toth" on a piece of paper when we got back. I turned to do something else and she had taken a pen and copied it letter for letter on another piece of paper!

Today is Day 4 and she's had another fun day. We took her to church and sat on the back row for a quick escape if need be. She NEVER sat still the entire time, but we made it through. She had another fun day at the pool, playing with Conner and Carl. Another funny thing about this sweet girl is that she can EAT! We have to limit her food because she never stops which is typical for a child coming out of an orphanage. Tonight she ate 2 pieces of chicken, 2 rolls, and mashed potatoes. She is only 4! I wouldn't let her eat a corn on the cob after that, I was afraid she was going to throw up. She got very upset but then I just let her carry it around until bedtime and she was okay with that. I guess just holding it gave her security. She is also very neat. She found a new package of Disney underwear I brought. She pulled each pair out, popped them and carefully laid them on the table. She didn't stop until all 6 were laid right on top of each other just perfectly. Today has been an introduction to discipline too. She's testing the boundaries big time. She playfully tests us on almost everything (with a huge charming smile on her face). So we're finding a balance between trying to understand where she's coming from (plus the language barrier) and yet still give her the security that she is not the boss and there are some things that aren't acceptable like running into the street. We are constantly hugging and kissing her, and telling her we love here in Cantonese (with a southern accent of course).

Carl and I have talked about the lessons we are seeing lived out through this experience. One is the unspeakable joy of this adoption and how this is just a speck of the joy that God experiences when He adopts us into His family. And then the orphanage day...how like human nature we want to go back to what is familiar, to what is comfortable to what we can see even though it's not very good. That's the Biblical story of the Israelites, wanting to go back to bondage in Egypt and not move ahead to the abundance of the Promise Land. In that moment at the orphanage, Collins was reaching back because she had NO IDEA of the amazing life she has ahead of her, no clue whatsoever. So often we go kicking and screaming as God calls us out to something so much better. Love you all, will keep you posted.