Look what a family's love can do!

2 Year "Gotcha Day"

Today I just feel thankful. 2 years ago today we were whisked into a room in China to see Collins for the first time. Coming into the building, I was expecting to be able to sit down, calm my pounding heart and wait for awhile for the orphanage worker to arrive with our daughter. Instead, the children were already there. About 5-6 little girls were sitting in a room next to ours. The door was open. Carl pointed from across the room, "There she is!" We had seen pictures but NOTHING could have prepared me for that moment. When I had experienced childbirth years before, I learned that there is no moment like seeing your child's face for the first time. I remember the exact moments of seeing Spencer and Conner's yummy faces right after birth. Time seemed to stand still, and I could barely wrap my mind and emotions around those indescribable moments. This was no different. In seconds, our translator Grace called us to come and meet her. Hello! Just walk across the room and meet the child I had prayed for and missed for four long years? I had ached for her for so long. Just walk across the room and meet our daughter? The little sister for our boys? Meet this child that was found outside the gate of a welfare institution in China when she was 2 years old? I threw Conner the camera and off we went. Collins was the first child that came through the door. She walked out holding the hand of a lady from her orphanage. She was petrified! I cannot imagine the emotional earthquake this was for her. She was weeks away from turning 5, so she was old enough to understand. She was trying so hard to be strong, but fear was engulfing her. We gently tried to give her gifts, hold her hand, feed her snacks. She only had the clothes on her back, a backpack with a coloring book and a plum. When it was time to go she let me hold her hand as we walked to the van. Once the van door shut, the tears, panic, and grief began to pour out. She had lost so much. Losing her family at 2. Spending 3 years in an orphanage. Nothing is as horrific as being a little child without the love of a mother or father. She was so brave for having endured so much. And now she was enduring the loss of all she could remember and going with total strangers who spoke a language she had no understanding of. It must have felt like being kidnapped. Now 2 years have come and gone. 2 years of so many high high's and low low's. A great definition of adoption is "entering into the pain of another". Collins has had to grieve. And sad often looks like mad. Parenting her has not been easy at times. But I believe that the choicest things in life must cost. To heal from deep grief you have to walk through it. Even in the hardest times, Collins has brought indescribable joy to our family. We have laughed more than we ever have before. She is sweet, fun, lively, gifted and it chills us all to the bone to think that we could have missed living our lives without this precious little girl. So today, I'm thankful.