Look what a family's love can do!

2 Year "Gotcha Day"

Today I just feel thankful. 2 years ago today we were whisked into a room in China to see Collins for the first time. Coming into the building, I was expecting to be able to sit down, calm my pounding heart and wait for awhile for the orphanage worker to arrive with our daughter. Instead, the children were already there. About 5-6 little girls were sitting in a room next to ours. The door was open. Carl pointed from across the room, "There she is!" We had seen pictures but NOTHING could have prepared me for that moment. When I had experienced childbirth years before, I learned that there is no moment like seeing your child's face for the first time. I remember the exact moments of seeing Spencer and Conner's yummy faces right after birth. Time seemed to stand still, and I could barely wrap my mind and emotions around those indescribable moments. This was no different. In seconds, our translator Grace called us to come and meet her. Hello! Just walk across the room and meet the child I had prayed for and missed for four long years? I had ached for her for so long. Just walk across the room and meet our daughter? The little sister for our boys? Meet this child that was found outside the gate of a welfare institution in China when she was 2 years old? I threw Conner the camera and off we went. Collins was the first child that came through the door. She walked out holding the hand of a lady from her orphanage. She was petrified! I cannot imagine the emotional earthquake this was for her. She was weeks away from turning 5, so she was old enough to understand. She was trying so hard to be strong, but fear was engulfing her. We gently tried to give her gifts, hold her hand, feed her snacks. She only had the clothes on her back, a backpack with a coloring book and a plum. When it was time to go she let me hold her hand as we walked to the van. Once the van door shut, the tears, panic, and grief began to pour out. She had lost so much. Losing her family at 2. Spending 3 years in an orphanage. Nothing is as horrific as being a little child without the love of a mother or father. She was so brave for having endured so much. And now she was enduring the loss of all she could remember and going with total strangers who spoke a language she had no understanding of. It must have felt like being kidnapped. Now 2 years have come and gone. 2 years of so many high high's and low low's. A great definition of adoption is "entering into the pain of another". Collins has had to grieve. And sad often looks like mad. Parenting her has not been easy at times. But I believe that the choicest things in life must cost. To heal from deep grief you have to walk through it. Even in the hardest times, Collins has brought indescribable joy to our family. We have laughed more than we ever have before. She is sweet, fun, lively, gifted and it chills us all to the bone to think that we could have missed living our lives without this precious little girl. So today, I'm thankful.

Orbie at The Global Leadership Summit

We're excited to have a booth at The Global Leadership Summit at Willow Creek, Thursday and Friday, August 9-10th. Over 9000 Christian leaders will be hearing Bill Hybels, Jim Collins and Condoleeza Rice among others. We're so excited to have the opportunity to simply share what God has called us to do: Connect His Word to the painful issues of orphans in a fun, high quality animation discipleship curriculum. 153 million orphans are waiting! If you're at the Summit, be sure and stop by our booth. In the meanwhile, go to our website and download the first video and lesson at www.orbiefororphans.org.

Letter from a Broken Heart

Okay, all you moms out there. Honestly, as our kids are growing up, our greatest fear is that they could lose us. We know we love them more than anybody else, and we know that we can take care of them better than anybody else ever could. To think that they could lose both parents, maybe even grandparents as well, with no one to parent them is beyond our comprehension. That would be our worst nightmare. As we were leaving the orphanage in Haiti a month ago, a little boy about 10 or 11 pulled me aside. In broken english, he told me that he had written me a letter. So sad to admit, but out of the 68 children we were with that week, I can't remember spending much time with him. When I read his letter, tears came to my eyes. He is desperate for a mom. He is broken-hearted. It's not supposed to be this way. It's a terrible tragedy. And the worst part of all? This one letter represents 153 million children in his situation, 99.9% of which will not be adopted this year. Here is his letter.

Raw Courage

If we continue to follow Christ with more abandon, He will take us on faith walks that come in all shapes and sizes. For us, leaving church staff after 25 years was a leap of faith we would have never dreamed of taking...other people do risky things like that. We are just ordinary people, not super talented, not brave enough to do big things that are very risky. But God called us, and that changed everything. Yesterday I was reading in my devo, and God reminded me again that He started us on this path and He will complete it: "The most dramatic changes in your life will come from God's initiative, not yours. The people God used mightily in Scripture were all ordinary people to whom He gave divine assignments that they never could have initiated. The Lord often took them by surprise, for they were not seeking significant mandates from God." Henry Blackaby So here we are with a clear call - Create and distribute a fun, animated discipleship series for orphans, so that they get His truth connected to the painful issues they face. Long term goal? 52 weeks distributed worldwide. Short term goal? 12 weeks translated into Creole, and distributed to the 723 government recognized orphanages in Haiti. An enormous task (animation is not cheap) but desperately needed and powerfully effective! Truly a divine assignment, a significant mandate from the One who hears their cries, the Father to the fatherless. What's hard about this? Not working with orphans - what a joy! Not writing the curriculum - the experience God has been equipping me for my entire life! What's hard is having to trust God this much to provide - for the animation, the organization and our family. The shape and size of this faith walk is the biggest stretch of our lives...I was really not prepared for how much raw courage it would take to walk this path. The beautiful thing is that God keeps speaking even when funds and feelings are low.

d: Here is how He spoke today in my devo: There are three levels of faith in the Christian experience. The first is being able to believe only when we see some sign or have some strong emotion. Like Gideon, we feel the fleece and are willing to trust if it is wet. This may be genuine faith but it is imperfect. It is continually looking to feelings or some other sign instead of the Word of God. We have taken a great step toward maturity when we trust God without relying on our feelings. It is more of a blessing when we believe without experiencing any emotion. While the first level of faith believes when our emotions are favorable, the second believes when all feelings are absent. And the third level transcends the other two, for it is faith that believes God and His Word when circumstances, emotions, appearances, people and human reason all seem to urge something to the contrary. Paul exercised this level of faith when he said, "When neither sun nor stars appeared for many days and the storm continued raging, we finally gave up all hope of being saved" (Acts 27:20), then nevertheless went on to say, "keep up your courage, men, for I have faith in God that it will happen just as He told me" (Acts 27:25). May God grant us faith to completely trust His Word, even when every other sign points the other way. Streams in the Desert Faith Walks require RAW COURAGE. Choicest things must cost. But 6 days of being on the front lines, of seeing abandoned Haitian children sit and watch our Orbie video over and over made our call crystal clear once again. Onward and upward!

Under My Skin

I knew going to Haiti would be hard in many ways. And it was. But by far the most difficult thing was leaving. We fell in love with all the kids, but there were a few that really got under our skin. For me (Jill) it was a 12 year old boy living in the orphanage. He was the one that volunteered to give a recap of the Bible story of Joseph's abandonment after all the boys had watched our first video. All the kids would constantly hug us, kiss us on the cheek, sit on our lap, follow us everywhere we went. But this one boy was special to me and I was special to him. He was by my side most of the time. Of the 6 days we were there, the pit in my stomach formed on day 4. This was due to my thoughts about having to leave him. On the 5th day when we left for the day, he stood outside the orphanage, waving sadly at me, until we drove out of sight. The last day, he was just SO SAD. I just kept hugging him. He wrote me a letter and gave it to me right before we left. With hearts drawn all over it, it said: Jesus love you very much I love you soooooo much sooooo much I never forget you. Oh precious child, I will never forget you either. Your sadness is what drives me everyday. Your brokenness is what led us to risk everything to lead Orbie for Orphans. I pray that God will bring him a family. And I pray that God will use our discipleship material to transform the heart of this sweet boy that got under my skin.

6 days with 68 orphans

Spending 6 days with 68 children who live in an orphanage will change one's life forever. Last week on Orbie for Orphan's first mission trip we traveled to Leogane, Haiti to work at the Greta Home and Academy. This is the first orphanage run by Samaritan's Purse, and boy are they doing an amazing job! These children were living in tents when Samaritan's Purse took over last November. Here we are in front of the construction of the orphanage they are building for these children.

We can honestly say that our team fell in love with 68 kids that week. The children were constantly holding our hands, hugging our necks, smiling at us, laughing and playing with us. They couldn't get enough affection. Imagine what they've been through. They don't understand why they are separated from their families, but most are grateful to be in a place where they are given 3 great meals a day and love from the staff. Most are here because of the crippling poverty in Haiti.

We were so grateful to have a week to love on them and share God's truth in a fun way through our animated discipleship material. We had so many amazing moments and photos that I will be sharing in the next few days. But certainly the hardest part was leaving them. Even the best of orphanages cannot replace what is lost when a child loses their family. Their lives have been devastated. They are sad and lonely. We ache for them. We miss them. We are more determined than ever to do whatever it takes to develop animated Bible study just for them. As the psalmist said in Psalm 119, "If it had not been for your Word, I would have perished in my affliction."

Carl's Bend in the Road

From Carl: In the 1970's I had a great job with Dun & Bradstreet in Florida. By my late 20's God had transformed my life and as a result there was a bend in the road. I left the business world, went to seminary and have spent the last 25 years as a pastor. I've served in fantastic churches and have been truly blessed. But 20 months ago everything changed. We adopted a 5 year old from China, and through that experience God was preparing me for a bend in the road like no other. One year ago we took a leap of faith that didn't make sense on paper. I was 56 years old, with one in college and one headed that direction. It was not the best time for a complete career change. But what else do you do when you hear His voice? What else do you do when you see the orphan crisis firsthand at your little girl's orphanage, realize there are 153 million orphans with less than 1% being adopted each year? What else do you do when you know God is calling you to reach the vast majority that are forgotten that are forgotten and left behind? This switch required me to trust Christ like I never have before. It meant moving from success to significance with the time I have left. It's required giving up being "comfortable" in my job. To start an organization from the ground up and implement a mission that I know God wants done in this world has stretched me beyond anything I've ever experienced. To trust Him for our finances and future is hard, but good. I've learned, if you follow the Savior, He will lead you into places and situations where you come to a place of deep humility and desperate dependence on Him. It's such a paradox, but that's a great place to be. I've learned that when I come to the end of my resources, I'm at the beginning of His. I've learned that when you step out onto the edge at His leading, you create a moment where He has to show up. He will either give you wings to lift you in the moment or put a firm foundation under your feet. There is so much suffering in the lives of the fatherless. There is so much work to be done on their behalf, and time is short. And so God has led us here. I've learned so much. I understand now that life is not about playing it safe. It's about stepping out into moments where God has to show up. And He has.

A Tiny Treasure

  A couple of weekends ago we spent 2.5 days cleaning out my  mother-in-law's house in Florida.  Because of health issues, we recently moved her to be near our family.  As an antique dealer for many years, she had a houseful of beautiful things!  Most went to a high end auction house.  Then we sent a trailer-full to a mid-level auction house.  Then came the real work.  As a family, we went through everything and sorted it into garage sale or trash.  There were thousands of items!  I'm not kidding.  THOUSANDS!  Dishes and hats and books and clothes and more hats and more books and more clothes and simply a lifetime of things that we all tend to accumulate.  We sorted one day and did a Garage Sale as a fundraiser for Orbie for Orphans the next.  Now I could be labeled an expert at putting on a garage sale, but my head is still spinning from this one.  There were so many items, people were literally overwhelmed.  They kept returning 2, 3 and 4 times.  In all the chaos of so many items that passed through in that weekend, there was one tiny treasure.  My mother-in-law had many Christians books and I didn't keep them because we are out of space.  But there was  a tiny book that I kept for reasons I can't recall.  It was called "Jesus:  He's Your Final Answer." But I'll get back to that...

 One of the days we were there Collins had a meltdown, and I mean meltdown! When she's exhausted, she can't hold it together.  Because she was abandoned at 2 and lived 3 years in an orphanage, abandonment issues still surface.  We have had her for 19 months and she has had enough time to feel secure and heal somewhat.  She's really a normal little girl now.  But recently, we've seen fits come out of nowhere and words can fly that are very hurtful.  She questions if we love her and if we are really gonna stay.  I think she feels secure enough now to really show another side just to see if we really are with her forever, even when she's difficult.  During this particular fit, I kept leaving the room.  I was in the middle of running an enormous garage sale for goodness sake!  In talking to my sister-in-laws, it hit me that I was making things worse. I was doing the opposite of what the book "The Connected Child" taught me to do!   I was causing more fear in her because I was leaving her while disciplining her - not smart with abandoned children.  Later when she calmed down, she said told me why she was so mad. "Mommy, I was lonely!"  Eeek...lesson learned.  That night as I was putting her to bed, I pulled out the new little book from the garage sale.  I opened to the first page and it said:

"I sometimes feel so alone.  Is there anyone out there who cares about me?"

Collins eyes got wide!  How timely....and then the book gave this answer.  

"God sets the lonely in families."  Psalm 68:6

We both got wide-eyed then.  I said, "Collins!  This is what happened to you.  God put you in our family, and you will be with us forever and ever."

That was about 10 days ago.  Night before last I was putting her to bed.  She prayed first.  "Jesus, fank you that You put lonely in families.  I LONELY in China!"  

Amazing Article from Jedd Medefind

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

God's Heart for the Orphan Is His Heart for You by Jedd Medefind

“A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling. God sets the lonely in families ...” (Psalms 68:5-6 NIV) The gods that the ancient world worshipped were concerned with great people — the mighty and cunning, the swift and the gorgeous. The rest of humanity served as a backdrop — bit players, foils, inconsequential fodder for the grand plans of kings, generals, and deities. Not so with the God of the Bible. We see God’s strange interest in the people on the margins carved upon every page of Scripture. It was evident in Yahweh’s selection of a nation of slaves to be his special people. It echoed in his choice of sheep-tenders to be the first to hear news of the Incarnation. But perhaps nowhere do we see this curious reality more clearly than in God’s passion for the orphan. We may miss how odd it actually is because we live in a culture that is deeply shaped by Christian assumptions. Though it is often violated, to care for the weak and vulnerable remains a Western virtue. This generally wasn’t the case in the cultures that surrounded Jewish and early Christian communities. Like modern Social Darwinists, ancient societies typically saw weakness as unworthiness to live. As the Roman philosopher Seneca described Roman culture during Jesus’ time, “We drown children who at birth are weakly and abnormal.” Consider then the marvel of a God who not only tolerates the feeble and lowly, but places special premium on defending and caring for them. What a contrast. We see God, the most potent and self-sufficient Power imaginable, continually expressing profound concern for the least potent and self-sufficient — the orphan in distress. The Law describes, “He defends the cause of the fatherless and the widow ...” (Deuteronomy 10:18 NIV). The Prophets echo the same truth: “For in you the fatherless find compassion” (Hosea 14:3b). And, again, in the psalms, “A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling. God sets the lonely in families ...” (Psalm 68:5-6). As we grasp this outlandish, beautiful reality, we encounter the truth of God’s father heart. It pulses not only for the orphan, but for each of us as well. He pursued us when we were destitute and alone. He adopted us as his children. He invites us to call him “Abba” and to live as his daughters and sons. Of course, we must not miss the fact that God calls his people to do the same. We are to live out “pure and faultless religion” by caring for the orphan and widow in their distress (James 1:27). As we do this, we reveal God’s heart to the world. Whether by adoption or foster care or mentoring or supporting the local Church in care for orphans around the globe, we display that astonishing reality that the Great One cares passionately for the least. And in the process, we experience God’s heart more deeply ourselves as well — a peculiar, marvelous love for the orphan. A peculiar, marvelous love for us. Talk About It What does God’s consistent concern for the orphan tell you about his character? What does it reveal about how he feels about you? In what ways might you be able to reveal God’s peculiar, beautiful sense of priority to the world? Jedd Medefind is the president of the Christian Alliance for Orphans. This May, Saddleback Church will host Summit VIII to inspire and equip Christians to effectively live out God’s love for the orphan through adoption, foster care, and global initiatives. Learn more about Summit at www.summitviii.org.

If I could have Jesus sit at my kitchen table, I would love to ask him about the issue of "faithfulness". Every one of us would love to hear "Well done, good and faithful servant" on the other side. But what does faithfulness look like to Him? Jesus tells us in Matthew 25:14-30 through the parable of the talents. This is fascinating because His explanation here might not be what one would expect. Faithfulness is not just the typical "absence of doing wrong". Oh no...it's much more than that.

I love Dr. Thomas Constable's summation of this parable: "Faithfulness involves using what God has entrusted to one to advance His interests in the world. It involves making a spiritual profit with the deposit God has entrusted to each disciple."

So to unpack this a little....The master was going on a journey. While he was gone, he entrusted talents to 3 servants. A talent was a unit of exchange. 5 could be as much as a person in that time would make in a lifetime! Each servant got a different amount, according to their ability. Those who were given more were expected to gain more. What was true then is still true now, greater privilege means greater responsibility.

Immediately the slaves with 5 and 2 talents got to work. They took what they had and used it for the master's benefit. The third slave played it safe by burying the money. When the master came back, the first 2 were commended with the words, "Well done, good and faithful servant." The last slave didn't fare so well. The master had entrusted something of His, and this slave had not done with it as the master expected. He wasn't willing to risk. He played it safe, and as a result accomplished nothing for his master's benefit. In the end, he lost not only the talent but also joy in his master's presence.

So comparisons are pretty easy here. The master is God. He has put within all of our hands different talents....some more, some less but all expected to be used to build His kingdom and not our own. What would talents be for us? Here again, I defer to Dr. Constable: "We should understand the talents to be all the working capital that God entrusts to His disciples. To limit the talents to spiritual gifts, natural abilities, the gospel, opportunities for service, money or whatever, limits the scope of what Jesus probably intended. All of these things constitute what God has given His servants to use for His glory."

*Faithfulness involves understanding that all we have is His, and that it is working capital we use to build His kingdom.

*Faithfulness is willing to trust God and take risks with those things. To do that means we must walk by faith and not by sight.

It's unfortunate when people think that faithfulness in their Christian experience is a focus on staying away from the "thou shalt not's". They want to play it safe like the third slave. That's not the way to have a great impact with the life we've been given. God has the most exciting, purposeful life planned for each one of us...and it involves advancing His kingdom by using what He has put into our hands. Faithfulness is putting that to work for Him. It's risky and it requires great trust. But it's a ride like no other....

Nobody's Coming

The last thing we want is for this blog to be all about our family and our little adopted orphan. But the things coming out of Collins' mouth these days are profound, and are a driving force as we put one foot in front of the other to accomplish the mission of Orbie for Orphans.

I'm not a person who cries, but I'm crying as I type this. My husband just held me as I let it out, and before that I spent 15 minutes bawling my eyes out in the shower. Tonight was like any other night. I was putting Collins to bed. Got an idea from a friend to have each of us think of something that we could thank Jesus for before we said bedtime prayers. I told Collins that mine was going to be that she had the incredible experience today of taking a plant and a card to an elderly friends home that just got a cancer diagnosis. On her turn she said, "I fank (thank) Jesus that in China you came. Mommy, I worried you not come! I worried Mommy and Daddy not come!" We talked it about it a little, I kissed her goodnight, and then ran to the shower to release the pain inside. Approximately 153 million orphans. Less than 1% of that number adopted each year. The pain I could imagine my child felt, worrying that we weren't coming TIMES MILLIONS. And guess what? Chances are...nobody IS coming.

That is the very reason we started Orbie for Orphans, and that is the very reason we are asking everybody we know to help us do this. A child that has nobody, and will get nobody....needs to be reached with the truth that "Thee Somebody" is with them. This is the One that will never leave them or forsake Him. The Great I AM. The One that loves them the most, and the only One that can heal them and give them hope for the future.

I've moved way beyond being "worried" about asking people to give to our organization. This is for orphans who are "worried" that nobody is coming. I'm getting courageous because I'm asking for children who have nobody.

2 nights ago we were going to Conner's basketball game and I asked Collins if she was going to sit with the cheerleaders like she normally does. She said she'd rather sit with us. She said, "I'm away from you too long." I said, "No, we've been together all day." She said, "Mommy, in China I'm away from you too long!" Last night, when I asked her what she wanted to thank Jesus for she got a huge grin on her face and said, "A BIG family!" She went from nobody, the big ZERO, to parents, 2 brothers, grandmothers, cousins, aunts and uncles....It blows her mind. When we started this whole adoption journey, we wanted a 2-3 year old. I can see why there was a much better plan. A child who spent ages 2-5 in an orphanage could tell us what it was like being an orphan. After having her 16 months, all those feelings are finally being expressed. It's heart-wrenching, but it compels us. Her pain and the love of Christ compel us to get the message to these kids that Somebody came 2000 years ago just for them. "Even if my mother and father forsake me, the Lord will take me in." Psalm 27:10

A Good Pain

Tonight I was racing through the bathroom, trying to get Collins' bedtime routine done in about 3 minutes. I was rushing to get her in her p.j.'s, teeth brushed and hands washed so that I could get back downstairs to our friends and the Phase 10 card game. In the flurry of activity, she softly said, "Mommy, I've got to tell you something." Occasionally I have enough smarts to know that this is gonna be one of those golden moments. I stopped, leaned down and looked into her eyes. She said, "In China, I MISSED you." I said, "Oh Collins, how I missed you! I waited so long too. Did you know you didn't have a mommy?" (She was in the orphanage from age 2 to almost 5). She shook her head yes and said, "I prayed for a mommy." Earlier today, Carl was trying to get her to go with him to the track to run and play soccer. Normally, that's right up her alley but today she said no, she wanted to stay with me. She said, "I away from Mommy too long in China." As we finished up our conversation tonight I was reminded of that familiar pain...the pain that a small child or teenager feels who doesn't have a mom or dad. That pain is good for Carl and I to feel, because it motivates us to work harder and faster to get this much needed Bible Study to these broken hearts. This is a huge vision that God has put before us. It will take an army of people to make it happen. We need families who might give up eating one meal out a month, who could send $30 a month to Orbie for Orphans. Or a mom who could give up one Starbucks a week and send us $20 a month...a man who could sacrifice one golf game a month and send $75. Please prayerfully consider joining us in this incredible mission to bring life change to kids without families.

Thee Priority

I have not been very successful with New Year's resolutions in the past, but this year I have been thinking about priorities. Because we are a few weeks into 2012, I would guess that most of us have recently had at least a thought or two about our priorities. What is most important to us and how is that fitting into how we will spend our time this year? It just hit me the other day that Jesus quite clearly addressed the topic of priorities in the story of Mary and Martha. Jesus had come for dinner and Martha was busy, making sure everything was done just right for Him. Mary spent her time listening to Him, sitting at His feet. Martha was frustrated and overwhelmed as she served Him. Mary was being filled, sitting in His presence. When Martha asked Jesus to get her some help, He responded by giving her a big TRUTH that applies to each and every one of us. He was kind to her, but told her that her life was burdened and distracted by the variety of things she was doing. Instead, she was to do the one thing that was needed: listening to Him. This was the priority. This was the indispensable thing. This was the thing that affected everything else.

We adopted Collins 15 months ago. One of our consistent issues is the need for her to listen to me. Her teacher needs this from her at school. I need this from her at home. Coming out of a life in an orphanage, she is fascinated by EVERYTHING. She is easily distracted and can tune me out in no time flat! But as her parent, listening to me is non-negotiable. She can't run into the street, she has to brush her teeth everyday and stay with me in public places. She has to stay in a place of dependent on me. That is what listening to Jesus shows....an attitude of dependence. Those who know they can't make it without Him spend time with Him. Those who trust Him have no option but to spend time with Him. And those who love Him do what He tells them to do. Collins came home from school and told me, "Teacher said I have to listen and obey." That about sums it up for all of us....